Entering into a new relationship is an exciting time. Your mind and body are overloaded with hormones, releasing dopamine and increasing your levels of serotonin. But despite all of the attraction and lust, it can also be quite daunting trying to navigate the complicated world of dating.
For example, how do you go about sharing your fetishes with someone in a new relationship? What if you scare this brilliant new person off? Rather than feel wracked with shame or try burying your kinks altogether, we’re going to share some tips on how to broach fetish in a new relationship.
1. Be positive
Remember that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to your sexuality. As such, bringing up your kinks with a new partner should be seen as a positive thing. Be honest and tell them about how it makes you feel and how much you would love to try it with them. Try saying things like: “Would you like to know how to really turn me on?”
2. Normalise it using media references
You could try putting a movie on that has some references to your kink in it. Let’s say, for example, you are into bondage. Suggest watching Fifty Shades of Grey with your partner and ask them if they have ever tried or been interested in trying anything like that.
3. Take it slow
You don’t have to rush into it. In fact, mentioning the fact that you’d like to buy bondage gear online and tie your partner up on a first date is not advised. Wait until you have developed a certain level of trust and enjoy each other. You don’t have to introduce your kinks straight away, but when you are comfortable, and you feel as though your partner may be receptive to the idea, then broach it in conversation.
4. Try roleplaying to set the scene
Roleplaying is a fun and harmless way of getting into kinky sex. If you want to dominate your partner, but you aren’t sure if they would be into that, then why not start off with a roleplaying exercise? You could try acting out a scene where you are the domineering teacher, and they are the misbehaving student – this could be an interesting and exciting way of gauging just how adventurous your partner is without giving too much away too soon.
5. Don’t force it
Try not to be too forceful of the idea. Not everyone is as open or perhaps as in touch with their sexuality as you. Some people are still trying to figure out what they are actually into and what makes them feel uncomfortable. So, float the idea by all means, but if they really do not want to try it, then don’t force it. You have to decide for yourself whether it is a deal-breaker for you and decide on how to proceed with the relationship from there. Some people may be dismissive at first, but given enough time could really warm up the idea.