Let’s be honest — if you’re looking for signs your relationship is over, that’s a sign on its own. Happy people don’t go around googling ways to figure out if their relationship is worth salvaging or not.
However, sometimes, when people hit a rough patch in their relationships, they go overboard (which might be what is happening to you). That’s why it’s essential to do a little bit of introspection and evaluate your relationship. That’s the only way to know if your relationship is worth fighting for.
Every relationship hits a rough patch — that’s perfectly normal. You simply can’t be happy all the time (you’d lose your mind). However, there’s a difference between a dicey period and a natural ending of a relationship. If you don’t know what that difference is or are too scared to take your rose-colored glasses off and face reality, then these signs your relationship is over will be eye-opening.
No-Nonsense, Inevitable Signs Your Relationship Is Over
#1. You Keep Hitting the Same Dead Ends
Like I said — rough patches are normal. It’s OK if you and your partner can’t agree on something or argue from time to time.
You’re two different people, and, no matter how similar or compatible you might be, there’s not one iota of a chance that you’ll agree on everything. Thus, arguing.
However, if you keep arguing about the same things without coming to some sort of an agreement or a compromise, then you might be in trouble.
#2. You Don’t See a Clear Future
Now, I don’t want to sound cliche and ask, “Where is this going?” but I kind of have to. Not seeing a clear future with your partner is one of the most definite signs your relationship is over.
If you can’t imagine your life with your partner, that’s a sure sign that something is wrong. And, sure, not every relationship has to be a short road to the two-kids-and-a-white-picket-fence avenue. However, every relationship has to go somewhere, and if yours doesn’t, then I’ve got some bad news for you.
#3. So You Don’t Talk About It Anymore
People who are together but no longer see a future with their partner simply stop talking about it. Unlike freshly coupled, happy people, who talk about their future together all the time and in great detail.
Do you remember those first few months with your partner? Do you remember how excited you were about everything that the future holds? Vacations, family gatherings, real estate — you had all these grand plans that included your significant other, right?
Now that feeling of excitement is gone, so you simply don’t make plans together anymore. You know, deep down, that you won’t stay in this relationship. If there’s no future, why waste breath talking about it, right?
The most rational thing to do after figuring out that you don’t actually see a future with your partner (or want to be with them) would be to leave immediately. But, people are fickle creatures. Many stay in dead-end relationships because they are scared to be alone or think they won’t find anyone better than their current partner.
#4. Or You’re Thinking of a Future Without Them
If you ever had a thought (even a stray one) that goes along the lines of, “When I’m no longer with my partner, I’ll…” then you’re in a dead-end relationship.
Planning a future that doesn’t include your current partner is one of the most apparent signs your relationship is over. If you don’t think your partner will be there to share your future, whatever it may be, then there’s really no reason to put effort into your relationship. Just get out while the getting is good.
#5. You Avoid Going Home
Sometimes you have to stay longer at work, and you’re happy about it. Does that sound familiar? Or, even better, you have plans after work (ones that don’t include your partner), and you’re ecstatic about it.
People who are unhappy in their relationships usually avoid going home (because that’s where their partners are). Instead, they keep postponing that inevitable moment they’ll have to face the music.
Sometimes people do this unconsciously. They don’t realize that they’re looking for any excuse that will keep them away from home as long as possible. Think about your patterns lately — have you been spending more time at work or with friends and family and very little time at home with your partner?
#6. You Feel Lonely
People in unhappy relationships feel lonely. Because they can’t connect with their partner the way they used to (or at all), they feel alone even if their partner is frequently at their side.
If you feel like the special bond that connected you to your partner is gone, and you’re lonely, your relationship might be over. You just haven’t realized or accepted it.
#7. And Yet, You Don’t Miss Them When They Aren’t There
Not missing your partner and actually feeling free when they aren’t with you is a sure-fire sign your relationship is over. Sure, couples don’t need to be attached at the hip and live in each other’s pockets. However, if you love and cherish someone, you’ll miss them when they are gone, especially if they’re gone for a longer period of time.
If all you feel is relief, then you don’t actually want to be in that particular relationship.
#8. They Aren’t the First Person You Call Anymore
Not that long ago, your partner was the first person you called when something happened, right? You shared everything with them, no matter how small or insignificant.
Now, when you get some news, or something happens to you, your partner isn’t even on your mind. You call someone else for advice, comfort, or even just a sympathetic ear.
That’s one of the definite signs your relationship is over. It means that your partner is no longer your confidant or the most crucial person in your life. They are secondary (if that) to someone else or simply don’t hold that much significance in your life anymore.
#9. You Prioritize Other People
Not making your partner your priority is acceptable (sometimes). However, when you prioritize other people and their issues or events over your partner all the time, that means that you don’t consider your partner worthy of your time (or your effort).
Honestly, being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you a priority is a terrible feeling. So, if that’s the case with you, save everyone’s time and tears, and break up.
#10. Their Problems Don’t Seem Like a Big Deal to You
Lack of empathy is also one of the sure signs that your relationship is over. If you don’t have the time or energy to listen to your partner and hear them out about their problems, you’re no longer empathetic.
What’s more, even when you do find it in you to hear them out, you’re often quick to label them a “drama queen” because, in your eyes, their problems are small and insignificant.
That might be because you no longer care to put effort into the relationship. You might be resentful towards them (for whatever reason), so you no longer think they have “the right” to complain about their problems, or you simply don’t care as much for them as you once did. Either way, you’re unsympathetic.
#11. You Both Keep Repeating Yourselves
If a relationship lacks empathy, the partners are less likely to remember something that matters to the other half of their couple. Alternatively, the partners don’t listen to each other, so they forget essential information. Thus, you both end up repeating yourself a lot.
#12. You Resent Their Habits
Something that you considered as an adorable quirk is now an annoying habit that’s driving you wild? I know that feeling well.
When I started dating my ex, they charmed me with their eloquence. They had all these wild tales and a fantastic knack for storytelling. Fast forward a couple of years, and that quirky, positive trait turned into an extremely annoying habit.
I was annoyed that they never seemed to be able to just be quiet and would always interrupt people they talked with (including myself) because they had something to say.
Being annoyed by traits and habits that were harmless or even cute not that long ago is another one of the sure-fire signs your relationship is over. It means you no longer have the energy and patience for the level of tolerance you once had.
#13. You Don’t Talk to Each Other
If you’re no longer excited to tell your partner about your day, or hear their opinion on a topic, then you aren’t really talking with them. Sure, you say things to each other. You tell them what needs to go on the grocery list or remind them of future plans. But you don’t really talk.
#14. When You Do Talk, You End Up Disagreeing or Arguing
If you do happen to start a meaningful conversation, it almost always ends with a fight. Nowadays, practically anything is a potential catalyst for conflict.
Having intellectual arguments isn’t the same as fighting. If you’re simply discussing things with your partner, that’s perfectly fine. Even if you don’t agree on something, it’s still healthy communication.
But, when fighting turns dirty, and you start dealing in low blows and thinly-veiled insults, then your communication is not only unhealthy but also a sign you’re in a dead-end relationship.
Now, some people simply aren’t as good at communication as others are. Therefore, although not being able to talk appropriately with each other is one of the signs that your relationship is over, it isn’t the definite kiss of death that it seems like. If that’s the only problem you have, then working on your communication skills (preferably with a professional) is a way to save your relationship.
#15. They Don’t Make You Laugh Anymore
Laughter is the best medicine, and if your dying relationship has none left, then I have some bad news. Laughter goes hand in hand with happiness, so if your partner no longer makes you laugh or smile, that means they don’t evoke positive feelings in you anymore.
As devastating as this is, it’s also a natural progression of most relationships that come to their natural end.
#16. You Aren’t Willing to Compromise
Good relationships have a simple yet durable foundation — compromise. Each day in a relationship is a day of compromising because there’s really no chance of being with someone who wants the exact same things you do. So you both compromise here and there.
Now, you are no longer prepared to go out of your way to make your partner happy or comfortable. What’s more, you resent them for even asking you to.
When you are no longer willing to compromise or do, but begrudgingly, that probably means you no longer think your relationship (and your partner) is worth such sacrifices.
#17. You Don’t Do Things Together
Most couples have “their things.” That’s something they love doing together, and it makes them happy. I’m sure you and your partner have multiple “things.” But are you still doing them?
If the answer is no, then I, again, have some bad news. Forgetting or not bothering to set some time aside to do things with your partner is another of the signs your relationship is over.
#18. You’re Always Annoyed
I already mentioned that it’s OK not to feel happy all the time in your relationship. The same goes for any other emotion. Too much of one thing is never good. So, if you’re always annoyed by your partner — their actions, behaviors, what they talk about, how they say it — that’s a bad sign.
#19. You Don’t Kiss Anymore
Kissing with intent, or to show affection and appreciation usually isn’t a part of a dead-end relationship. Couples who have lost the habit of kissing just for the sake of it (because they like it), or, even worse, kiss just out of habit, are on the road to unhappiness (or they’ve already arrived at that particular destination).
Sure, some couples don’t enjoy kissing. If that’s the case with you, then the lack of kissing isn’t one of the signs your relationship is over.
#20. There’s No Intimacy
Even if you don’t show intimacy with kisses, you show it in some way. Maybe that’s a super common or an extremely particular way — it doesn’t matter. The question is — is there intimacy?
Are you and your partner still connected on a deeper level, and do you nurture that bond in any way? Because if you aren’t and you don’t, there really is no saving your relationship.
#21. The Sex Is Different
Sex is usually the first thing to go in a dying relationship. A lack of sex or forced, bad sex are some of the signs your relationship is over.
There’s a saying that great sex is only 20% of the relationship, while bad sex is 80% of the relationship. Meaning, sex isn’t everything, and you can’t build a successful relationship purely based on good sex. On the other hand, few relationships survive truly bad sex because that means there’s no chemistry; no spark.
So, whether it’s good or bad, it will affect your relationship.
#22. You Keep Thinking That You Can Do Better
If you’re not happy to be with your partner and don’t consider yourself lucky you’ve found them, then you are ready and capable of living without them.
Of course, everyone is capable of living without other people. You won’t die even if you lose the perfect partner. But still, you’re supposed to want to be with your significant other. So, if you think that you can do better than your current partner, that means you’re already considering a future without them (and probably other prospects).
#23. You Can’t Be Yourself Around Them
People change. That’s an inevitable truth. Therefore, both you and your partner aren’t the same people you used to be when you got together.
But, couples are supposed to change and grow together. If your personal growth strayed away from your partner’s, there’s a chance you no longer feel comfortable being yourself around them.
That is a huge issue in any relationship. You aren’t supposed to fake it with your partner (pun not intended). Your partner is supposed to be your safe harbor, the one person who gets to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of your personality.
If you feel as if you can’t show them everything or have to censor yourself, then you aren’t with the right person. Faking parts of your personality is one of the signs your relationship is over because, let’s be honest, if your partner no longer knows you, are they really in a relationship with you?
#24. You Keep Getting Comments About “Being Unhappy”
People often don’t notice that their relationship no longer makes them happy. They get into a routine and simply live their life without ever questioning whether there should be something more to life.
But, just because they are “blind” doesn’t mean people around them are. If your relationship is making you unhappy, people around you will notice (even if you don’t). Your friends and family will worryingly ask if you’re alright and if there’s anything that’s making you unhappy, angry, or anxious.
See that as the helping hand it is. Those people are giving you signs your relationship is over (while you’re busy ignoring them). If you’re quick to dismiss them and their concerns, just remember that others see things objectively, unlike you.
A Few Parting Words
Coming to terms with a dead-end relationship isn’t easy. Everyone’s been there, and yet they all dread a repeat performance.
Humans are social creatures, and they don’t do well alone. So they cling to anyone in their orbit because the thought of being alone scares them so much. In fact, they’re pretty much ready to sacrifice anything just to stay with someone. This knee-jerk reaction usually ends up costing them time and effort they could have saved.
One of the first and, simultaneously, final signs your relationship is over is that gut feeling people get when they know that something is wrong. That’s the feeling that made you scour the internet in the hope it tells you you’re wrong. The sad truth is, you probably aren’t. If you feel as if your relationship is over, it probably is, so it’s better to save your energy and move on.