In the age of feminism and equality, submitting to your husband may sound like a terribly outdated notion. You don’t want or need your husband’s permission to do anything — you’re an independent woman, after all! But surprisingly, there is some evidence that submission isn’t always bad; and it may even have some unexpected benefits.
Why Submitting to Your Husband Is Good
You may be thinking, ‘Well, of course, submitting to my husband is good, but only for him. I get absolutely nothing out of it!’ But actually, you’d be surprised by the benefits this simple act can have both for you and your marriage. Let’s take a look at a few!
1. You Show Him That You Trust Him
Marriage is supposed to be a union between two people who fully and completely trust each other. That means that you’re ready to give the reins over to your husband sometimes, especially when it comes to making decisions. After all, if you’re in a loving marriage, why should you be worried? Your husband is bound to make a choice that’s best for you both.
Now, you might think that your husband knows you trust him without you having to submit to him. But how would he? You need to show it to him — especially if you’re usually the one who makes all decisions. And what better way to do that than let him take control?
2. You Will Influence Each Other
In marriage, unity comes first, individuality second. Sure, you are still your own person, but you’ve also agreed to be a part of a couple and share your life with someone. That comes with many benefits, but also a few sacrifices. Your full independence is one of them.
That might be particularly hard to accept — but remember, it doesn’t mean you need to give up on your hobbies and dreams. It simply means that you should open up to your husband’s influence and allow him to change some aspects of you. And don’t worry — your husband should similarly allow you to influence him. That way, the two of you can grow together and become the best versions of yourselves!
3. No Unnecessary Conflicts
Are you butting heads with your husband over trivial things time and time again? It happens to married couples quite frequently — both parties firmly believe they’re right and refuse to give in. This behavior only leads to tension, arguments, and unnecessary stress.
And yet, all of that is entirely avoidable. Submitting to your husband will change your turbulent marriage into smooth sailing and make communication between you two much easier.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should always give in. If it’s really important to you that something goes your way, talk to your husband about it. Explain why you care so much, and he’ll likely agree with you in the end. But don’t forget to pick your battles.
4. Your Marriage Will Flourish
Some people will tell you that, in marriage, both the husband and the wife have their roles. For instance, the husband’s role is to lead, protect, and provide, while the wife’s purpose is to nurture, care, and support. When both spouses are fulfilling their respective roles, the marriage flourishes.
Now, you may not like this division into roles, but you can’t deny that each spouse has their own needs. Husbands want their wives to respect them and rely on them, while wives want to feel safe and cherished. By submitting to your husband, you fulfill his needs and encourage him to take care of yours too. And fulfilled needs ensure a long and happy marriage!
How to Submit to Your Husband
You now understand what the benefits of submitting to your husband are, but what exactly does it entail? There is a lot of misinformation out there, which causes many women to reject the notion outright. So let’s see what a real submissive wife should do, as well as what sort of behavior she shouldn’t accept.
1. Let Him Take the Lead
When it comes to managing the household and your marriage, you probably often feel your husband isn’t up to the task. Somehow it always seems that, if you don’t take things into your hands, they’ll never be done properly. You end up wearing the pants in your relationship and making most decisions.
While it may seem like he doesn’t mind this arrangement, it’s important to let your husband be in charge. That way, you show him that you value him and trust his judgment, and in turn, you’ll be relieved of some responsibility. Ultimately, when you both feel good about yourselves, your marriage will thrive.
2. Ask Him for His Opinion
You may be used to making some decisions on your own, such as buying household items, groceries, and managing the family budget in general. And your husband may be perfectly fine with this — but you should still ask him what he thinks.
Of course, you don’t need to call him and ask his opinion on every item you buy in the supermarket. But when it comes to larger purchases — like furniture, for instance — you should check what your husband thinks. Even if you know that he’ll agree with whatever you choose, asking for his input will show him that you value him.
3. Think of His Needs
Like most people, you’re probably inclined to think of your own needs first. Everyone else’s needs, even your husband’s, tend to come second. But think about it — if you’re putting yourself first, and your husband is putting himself first, then where does that leave your marriage? Probably in the second place — and that’s not where it should be.
So try to see things from his angle and understand what he needs whenever you can. It won’t be easy to disregard your own needs if they conflict his — but it will get better with time.
And you might ask yourself, ‘Why doesn’t he do that for me instead?’ Well, if he truly loves you, he will likely put your needs above his too. But don’t wait around for him to make the first effort — bring positive energy to your marriage on your own.
4. Try Not to Criticize Him or Speak Negatively of Him
The last thing you want to bring to your marriage is negative energy, and criticizing is a sure way to do it. That doesn’t mean you should never disagree with your husband — but even when you do, try to express it in a constructive way. If he listens to your concerns but doesn’t change anything, do your best to trust his decisions.
And remember — it’s best to discuss any issues you have with your husband rather than speak negatively of him behind his back. After all, you two are a team, a unit, and you should stick together for better or worse.
5. Be Intimate Frequently
Sex isn’t just a fun and stress-relieving pastime — it also helps deepen the bond between you and your husband. You may not need it as often as he does, but don’t deny it to him without a good reason. By satisfying him in the marriage bed, you show that you care about him and his feelings. He’ll know that you can put him first sometimes — even if you aren’t really feeling it that day.
6. Talk to Him About the Changes in Your Marriage
When you first decide to submit to your husband, it would be wise to talk to him about it. If he’s used to you taking the lead, this new arrangement might be entirely foreign to him. In fact, he might not know what it entails or what’s expected of him. So it’s up to you to explain and answer any questions that come up.
You both might slip up in your new roles occasionally — that’s perfectly normal in the beginning. Ask your husband to forgive you if you do and remind you that he’s supposed to take the lead now. A good conversation always makes a lot of difference!
7. Don’t Accept Abusive Behavior
Submitting to your husband isn’t a bad thing — but only if done correctly. Remember, your husband should treat you with love and respect, not take advantage of you. Don’t ever think that berating, intimidating, or disrespecting is normal. Even submissive wives should have their boundaries, so remember to keep yours firmly in place.
If you do find yourself in an abusive situation, seek help. Turn to your friends, family, or find a good therapist. There are many institutions and professionals that can help you get out — so don’t settle for mistreatment, even of the emotional kind.
It may seem like submitting to your husband benefits only him, but actually, your whole marriage can flourish thanks to it. He’ll be happy and cherish you more than ever before, so naturally, you will be pleased too. Instead of being two separate individuals, you will be a unit that works together towards the same goal. And that goal is, of course, a blissful marriage.