Relationships between two people with a significant age gap are often frowned upon. The younger single is viewed as being inexperienced and probably coerced and manipulated into being in the relationship or is a gold digger, while the older partner is seen as being either too immature, shallow, or predatory.
Still, it’s not the age difference that is the most important factor affecting this type of relationship the most; it’s social inequalities and financial differences that might strain an otherwise good relationship.
Also, not all age gap relationships are bad; some can actually work out, as we’ve seen with several people and celebrities, but let’s see what can affect your spring-winter relationship.
Experience
When it comes to age-gap relationships, most people just assume that the age difference is the only impediment and that one partner is searching for someone to control while the other craves security.
Even when these things do not exist, a power dynamic will always be in place. This is because the partners have different levels of experience. Even though age is not a great gauge for experience as some might have lived through more in 20 years than others in 40, in most cases, it applies.
Different levels of education, the ability to stay rational in all situations, housework skills, class, maturity, and wealth, can make the balance of power tilt in one direction.
Sure, that’s easier to count on a good old hookup and relations with benefits in the case of a large life expertise difference. Everyone gets what they deserve, and no one gets trapped into a situation with unshared feelings. Some online dating services work better for a hookup than others. For instance, Oldcooldates gives the perfect service to those looking for no strings attached relations with the approach itself: the service is fast, simple, and easygoing.
While signing up to oldcooldates and entering an older person can potentially work out fine and add value to both partners’ lives( remember that a serious dating scenario might be harder to navigate in).
The Fetishization and Double Standards
Although a bit sexist, it seems that there is more prejudice regarding relationships where men are older than those where women are older. This might be due to the fact that, in general, women are far less predatory than men and less likely to seek to gain power over their significant other.
A relationship between two partners of different ages can be mutually beneficial, teach something to both partners and even work if everyone involved is in agreement over the nature of the relationship, has entered it willingly, and is ready to change and compromise.
The social inequality seems obvious when we look at Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (she is 15 years older), at Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte (she is 25 years older), and then at Donald Trump and Melania (he is 24 years older) or Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (he is 25 years older).
While the relationships where women are the seniors aren’t as frowned upon, the reverse is often judged. Even though young men are viewed as playboys and young women as gold-diggers with daddy issues when they are interested in older partners, sometimes society gets it wrong.
Demi and Ashton have split up, while Catherine and Michael are still going strong with 20+ years of marriage and two beautiful children.
Financial differences
This is another issue, even though it shouldn’t be. In most cases, the chances are that one partner will make more than the other, sometimes a lot more, but it shouldn’t affect people’s relationships.
Yet it does, especially when the gap is considerable. But this difference is oftentimes related to the experience and literally having more years to get money. A dating widower will obviously have more money than someone who just graduated.
By a certain age, you most likely own your house, have a car, are done with mortgages or loans, but if you are dating someone who is at their first job, they will probably be living at home or renting, paying off student loans and trying to make ends meet on close to minimum wage.
Conclusion
If you try online dating and find someone you are interested in and feel like true love might be involved or are very attracted to them, you should try to see where it takes you. Don’t be afraid to listen to your heart. Dating isn’t about statistics and prejudice; it’s about finding what works for you and working together through rough patches to come back stronger and closer.
