Home Quotes 45 Funny Wine Quotes to Read Over a Glass of Your Favorite Port

45 Funny Wine Quotes to Read Over a Glass of Your Favorite Port

by Louise W. Rice
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If you are a connoisseur of fine wine (or any wine, really) you’re going to love these funny wine quotes!

Wine is truly much more than just a beverage, wouldn’t you say? Just think about the rich color, amazing texture, and not to mention the sensation that the perfect bottle can give you.

Sometimes just one sip can take you to another dimension and make you feel as if all is right in the world. Especially after a grueling day at work, when it takes all your willpower not to crack open a bottle at your desk!

Top 45 Funny Wine Quotes You’ll Love

Funny Wine Quotes Every Wine-Lover Can Relate To

#1. “I tried to think of a way to always have clean bedsheets, so I bought bed sheets that are the same color as my wine.” ― Unknown

#2. “For when the wine is in, the wit is out.” ― Thomas Beccon

#3. “Compromises are for relationships, not wine.” ― Sir Robert Scott Caywood

#4. “An empty bottle of wine is better than a filled one. It shows achievement.” ― Unknown

#5. “A glass of wine is good for your health. The leftover in the bottle is good for your morale.” ― Unknown

#6. “Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake.” ― Leon Adams

#7. “A glass of wine keeps the doctor away; a bottle of wine would keep everyone away. I think I’ll have a bottle.” ― Unknown

#8. “I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!” ― Unknown

#9. “Drink wine: it isn’t good to keep things bottled up.” ― Unknown

#10. “They say a glass of wine is good for you. So two glasses must be better?” ― Unknown

#11. “I know I have a strong will because I have quit drinking wine a thousand times, and I will not stop but keep trying, bottle after bottle.” ― Unknown

#12. “There comes a time in the day when no matter what the question is, the answer is always wine.” ― Unknown

Clever Yet Funny Wine Quotes to Maintain Your Buzz

#13. “A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.” ― Louis Pasteur

#14. “Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.” ― Aristophanes

#15. “Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.” ― Charles Kingsley

#16. “Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine.” ― Karl Marx

#17. “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields

#18. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s kind of the same thing.” ― Unknown

#19. “Wine flies when you’re having fun!” ― Unknown

#20. “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” ― Louis Pasteur

#21. “The only thing I can cook is white soup; the only ingredient is white wine.” ― Unknown

#22. “I tried cooking with wine. It didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.” ― Unknown

Funny Wine Quotes That Will Make You Seem Smart

#23. “One not only drinks wine, one smells it, observes it, tastes it, sips it and one talks about it.” ― King Edward VII

#24. “Wine rejoices the heart of man and joy is the mother of all virtues.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

#25. “When a man drinks wine at dinner, he begins to be better pleased with himself.” ― Plato

#26. “Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” ― Alexander Fleming

#27. “Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it.” ― Unknown

#28. “Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther King

#29. “More wine less whine.” ― Unknown

#30. “Wine is the answer. What was the question?” ― Unknown

#31. “It takes a lot of good beer to make great wine.” ― Brian O’Donnell

#32. “The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars.” ― Benjamin Franklin

#33. “Life is too short to drink bad wine.” ― Unknown

#34. “Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte

#35. “Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” ― Unknown

#36. “The discovery of a good wine is increasingly better for mankind than the discovery of a new star.” ― Leonardo Da Vinci

Funny Wine Quotes Your Friends Will Love

#37. “A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow.” ― Kathy Mattea

#38. “When you are stressed take wine, if you are still stressed take more wine.” ― Unknown

#39. “Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art.” ― Robert Mondavi

#40. “I get really clumsy around wine, I seem to always spill the whole bottle down my throat.” ― Unknown

#41. “The best part of having visitors is opening a bottle, serving them a glass and then getting to finish it myself.” ― Unknown

#42. “My doctor said I could take wine only on joyous occasions, and my other doctor said I should always make every day joyous. So that settles it.” ― Unknown

#43. “Wine… the intellectual part of the meal.”  ― Alexandre Dumas

#44. “Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.” ― Ernest Hemingway

#45. Spilling your glass of wine is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.” ― Unknown

The Conclusion

Wine makes poets of us all, especially after a glass or two! But sometimes it can also make us feel as if we’re saying something smart when in reality, no one can understand what we mean!

The next time you invite some friends over for drinks, try out one of these funny wine quotes and see how your guests enjoy them. After all, nothing goes better with alcohol than a clever quote (and maybe some cheese).

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